Today I just found out something which made me very very very sad =(
*sigh*
goodbye

WITH HANDS HELD HIGH INTO THE SKY SO BLUE
AS THE OCEAN OPENS UP TO SWALLOW YOU....

So here I am, after some re-evaluation in my healing process, savoring the feelings which we don't feel on a daily basis. I don't know if it's just me but don't you think that pain is sometimes an interesting change from the usual carefree days? It keeps us awake- it keeps us alive and knowing we're not in a dream. Maybe that's the reason why I did what I did. Never thought a LDR would work for me but yet walked knowingly into a disaster which I knew would leave me hurt just so I could know what it feels like to be pain once again. BUT U KNOW? FOR ALL ITS WORTH I'D DO IT AGAIN! CUZ I IS NUB AND LIEK TO SHOOTS MYSELVES IN TEH FOOT! :)

In any case, I'm feeling much better compared to a week ago. I guess its greatly attributed to the friends and family who have been by my side, sharing lengthy conversations over the phone, skype, spending some time out, or just talking things out over dinner. I'm so lucky to have so many awesome people around me who care. Thanks, u all are the best!

As my bro tells me -life goes on. I'm loyal like a dog but when the owner leaves, it's time to find my food and carry one surviving.

Speaking of dogs, I really wanna get one so bad =(. Today, I delivered pizza to this house (which gave me a $7 tip...yay!) that had such a majestic golden retriever-labrador which came running to me and licking me the moment the door opened. He wanted some pizza!!! SOOOOO CUTE OMG! Just wanna pick it up and give it a big hug. Ahh well, think it's gonna be awhile before I can afford the time, space and money to keep one but I guess it's something to look and work toward to...

I’m struggling for the right words to find,

As I pen my thoughts for you in vain.

Hoping for some way to change you mind,

And be together once again.

Life is so different without you.

Everything that mattered doesn't matter no more.

And everything that I do

Has nothing left in store.

Everyone tells me to try and forget -

Maybe try to find someone new.

But I can only look back in regret,

At the chance that I blew.

Sleepless cold nights filled with agony,

I toss and turn on my bed,

Reminiscing you lying next to me,

And sweet whispers which you said.

I miss your smile;

I miss your touch;

Though just awhile,

I miss you so much.

On my knees,

I pray for one last chance,

Begging you please,

For another romance.

Yet, no matter what I say or do,

Deep inside I know it wont be.

So thanks, I love you,

Hope you’ll find someone better than me.

I've always been such a huge LP fan and at this point of time, I relate to their song more than anything else at the moment...

What I've Done

In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away...

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away...

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

For What I've done

I'll start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
What I've done

Forgiving what I've done