Frail and weak, depending on a cane I'm a blind man in the abyss, Who hears sursurus whispers and curious passers Pondering how it feels living like this.
I am blind, I cannot see. And I live my dark days dreadfully.
On my side the guide dog trots, Watching out for a master with no vision. Like a leader it shows the way Motivating followers of little ambition.
Each step I take is one of hate, Self-pitiful wallows of a pathetic state.
And who am I to fall in love? Being the most useless burden that one could possibly find. This world's materialistic and realistic society oppresses me, What a joke to say that love is blind.
I am blind, but I've come to see. That someone like you would never love me.
C. blogged on 2:24 AM
.
{Writing Right - Friday, April 28, 2006}
I am such a visual person. If there were two versions of a story, one told in a book, the other as a screening of a movie, I always would have chosen the latter. Simply because I always have been a person which prefers sight to sound, pictures to words. A picture paints a thousnd words. Yet I'm starting to realise that after all this time, I might have been wrong. Like a person who only had only listened to music for a catchy tune has finally realised the beauty in song lyrics, I have come to realise that words can be more beautiful than anything else. What an epiphany!
I've been reading a lot lately. Be it my textbooks, Sputnik, other people's blogs or just day to day headlines which I briefly read through on the Yahoo! sidebar before proceeding to check my mail. I've come to an equivocal realisation of one thing. How wonderful it would be if I could write as well, or even half as well, as they could? How is it that they are able to conjure such wonderful metaphorical descriptions, mantain captivating fluidity and still possess so much precision in their, what seems to be, endless vault of vocabulary.
I've decided to adopt a new style of writing, bring more flare and thought provoking ideas. Possibly re-discovering a side of me I have long forgotten. I used to have such keen interest in music and literature. I still remember Mrs Moody, a teacher in an American private school I used to attend while our family resided there, telling me how she adored reading my poems. I remember the time while in JC when my GP (English) teacher would photostat an essay I wrote and circulate in the classes she taught. Yet somehow along the way, I've lost my ability to write. Like a meaningful gift from a loved one, it had been placed on a shelf. So near, yet so far - I pass by it daily but never stop to give it a second glance or remember what it meant, as it sits there far and forgotten, collecting dust.
Blame it on sports and games the burning passion of what all young boys (which most girls could never understand). Blame it on national service, which takes you to a whole new world of regimentation which makes weekends so valuable that you would rather be meeting up with people for fun than spending writing a journal to recollect the terribly dull, tedious and horrid week. Heck, I'd blame it on everything else other than myself. This has become such a strong self-defence mechanism possesed by me. However, deep inside, I know these are merely excuses and really, I am to blame.
I've learnt that we cannot always live life on the fast lane. Always wanting to do one thing after the next, achieving a goal after another, allowing a two hour movie to a story which could easily taken up an entire day had we read a book. I want to be still, stop and see fantastic sights which I always miss because I had filtered them out in my hurried, ignorant state. Maybe then, I'd have more to think and write and finally rekindle this dying part of me.
C. blogged on 2:23 AM
.
{Pffft - Wednesday, April 26, 2006}
Stuck on CA assignment. Gone 5 days without posting anything decent and days are as boring as they get. Wake up, go uni, work on assignment, come home for dinner, relax for a while, sleep. rinse and repeat.
Thought of something really cheesey walking home from school today though. I walked home and for the first time in a long while, did put my headphones and turn on the ipod. Instead, I thought about some cheesy lines which hopefully, I have saved as draft and hopefully one day publish in a post lol.
3 assignments to go.... ouch.
C. blogged on 12:37 AM
.
{WOOOOooo I gottit! Well..kinda - Friday, April 21, 2006}
Thanks Jun!!! <3
Lol. This book cover looks damn pornish but ITS A CLEAN BOOK OK. So if you see it lying on my desk, don't let that thought of 'OMG CHENG IS A PERVERT' dominate your thoughts. At least read the synopsis first =)
C. blogged on 11:00 PM
}
The difficult decision: Stay home and work on my CA assignment or got shoot people with TJ and Freddy. It really isn't a tough decision to make, but somehow with all the pressure from the deadline of projects, I had to flip a coil. So 'Heads'- I would go to play paintball. 'Tails'- Do assignment. So I flipped the coin and it came out....HEADS. There are also times when you don't quite agree with the outcome of the toss you increase the set and make it a best out of 3 toss. Well, that was exactly what I did. Next came a TAIL....tossed it one more time....HEADS.
So, I guess it was time for some paintball. The word 'Paintball' is similar to the word 'Cockburn' (please refer to the previous post if you don't know what Cockburn is. I do not want people getting the wrong idea). Anyway, they are similar in the sense that they both have silent letters. Cockburn with a silent 'ck' and paintball with a silent 't'.
Paintball is something I have never played before. While the SAF has equipped me well with combat knowledge such as firemovement, flanking and cover fire, somehow, I was an absolute free frag for the first 3 rounds. I get behind a cover, and wait for a chance to come out to shoot, and the moment I did, I got hit by a stray round. Also the 5 second rule which we use where you have only 5 seconds to run from a point to point before proning down under a cover DOES NOT WORK. I think in paintball, its about 2 seconds. Lastly, in paintball, there is no such thing as a paint-grenade, thought I really wish there were, which can be used to clear camping cockheads(note: no silent 'ck' this time round.
All in all, it was fun. In a free-for-all round, TJ manage to get a good stream of 4 rounds onto my back when I was caught in a crossfire. I'm also guilty for shooting Freddy in the neck when he ran out of ammo. Damn it is really swollen. SORRY!!!
I think we'll probably go again. Maybe when the exams or over or something...
Entrance to the Arena
TJ practicing his Matrix-Dodge move while I try to whip out my wallet
'JOO g0t OwNz3D!!!' Red team lost after losing a succession of rounds to our team. Hehehe so funny the last round. TJ and I were camping at a really good spot and taking everyone out. Revenge for shooting me at a point blank range. GRrrrrr.
C. blogged on 5:12 PM
.
{Rooney 8min vs Spurs - Wednesday, April 19, 2006}
Woooo check out the blitzing counter attack! :)
C. blogged on 12:44 PM
.
{Big Easter, Big Post - Monday, April 17, 2006}
Ok, this is going to be a massive post because I've decided to dump everything which happened over the weekend into one post. All in all, we had a massive Easter this year and what fun it was! Everyday was packed with either preparations or celebrations. I think almost everyday for that week I was waking up no later than 7am (which is a miracle really) and only today did I get to wake up at 10am (which is also a miracle). Anyway, speaking of Easter, check out this rabbit LOL.
Spent the bulk of the weekend with my dearest of friends. Good Friday was actually great. We had such a scrumptious dinner at Jay, Jean and Jo's place. Freddy, the master chef, prepared capicums rolls with cheese fillings, Swedish meatballs with jam and thick gravy (the ones u can get at IKEA), some broccoli, potato salad and steak! mmmmm, steak!!! It's one of the few opportunities for me to have a steak dinner without having to go out and fork $20 for it since the homecooked dinners with TJ and Jun means no beef for me *sob*. Here's some pics from the dinner.
Pre-dinner entertainment. Jay and I pretend to be rockstars.
Pre-dinner drinks with Fred (left) and jay! Pina colada (malibu, pineapple juice, coconut milk)
The chef in action!
Food
More food
You probably wouldn't know but these girls have a crazy pre-food ritual. They always fight for the smallest portion and when the two smallest ones are served before them, they would play a game a of scissors, paper, stone to determine who gets the smaller one.o_O
Sharing is caring: Dom, the twins and I split some chocolate.
Sunday we had our Easter dinner at our place and this time the master chef was Ally. We had fish maw soup, roast duck, sweet and sour pork and steamed fish. Dinner was awesome =) and we played UNO til late. Unfortunately, we didn't take much pics...I'll see if I can find any and post them up soon.
Monday was really cool as well (pun not intended). At night we went to catch Ice Age 2 and in the early afternoon, we were at Cockburn Ice Arena (I believe is pronounced with a silent 'ck' for coburn because it would sound hilariously wrong if it wasn't). Like alot of the stuff we do, this was another impromptu trip. Some how on Sunday afternoon while we were having lunch, we started talking about bowling and then ice skating. It suddenly hit upon us that most of us haven't ice skated in a very very long time. Heck, the last time I did was when I was in pri 6! Thank god I used to blade alot when I was young so I was able to pull of basic stuff. Of course, I fell down a couple of times because I tried to break using my heel, which is what you do sometimes with rollerblades, and realised that that is not the way u stop when you're on ice. I also almost crashed into a girl while trying to take a video while skating, but I'll rather not talk about that. Hopefully Freddy wont find a program to convert it into a mpeg and upload it onto youtube. The trip was much fun, I wanna go again soon...
The girl in black with the funky skates on the left was extremely pro. Very graceful skater and she looked like Nicole Kidman too*eyes wide shut*.
Jody can skate! Think she was the best skater in the group.Checkin' out their new blue shoes!
Group pic
C. blogged on 9:19 PM
.
{A cool Nickelback MTV - Saturday, April 15, 2006}
I really love this one. Enjoy =)
C. blogged on 12:00 AM
.
{The Break Begins - Thursday, April 13, 2006}
Hey Xinyi, watch out!! I'm coming close to your record. This morning, I failed my driving test for the second time. Silly mistakes....pfft not going to talk about it.
Rest of the day I spent at home, read a book and took a nap. The past two weeks have been tiring and finally the break has begun. Going to try to use it to catch up on some of my Corporate Accounting chapters and hopefully get my hands on a copy of Sputnik Sweetheart. I was actually hoping that I could get it today, but all three bookstores which I went to in Subi didn't have stock. I guess, it just wasn't my day.
Almost turned to retail therapy by buying an cool Abercrombie shirt but in the end I didn't. Probably because it had a badge on the top left with the words RUGBY printed on it. I am so not a rugby person!!! I'm decent at *ahem* ball sports but rugby is so not my sport. Imagine a lean guy like me getting tackled by a truck twice the size of TJ. I think I'll stick to basketball =) So I won't wear something I'm not and even more so if it costs about $70 bucks. Ouch. In the end I DID buy some small stuff, hehe, but it wasn't for myself so it doesn't count ;)
So since, retail therapy aint gonna happen, I shall find something else which can. I shall grab a beer, make some popcorn and go watch one of the following shows because it's taking up too much hard disk space.
Season 2 Lost episode 17,18,19
V for Vendetta
The Notebook
Munich
Hehehe...time to enjoy the Easter break. Hope everyone else has a good one too. May BIG things come your way!
C. blogged on 10:04 PM
.
{Get a Life! - Sunday, April 09, 2006}
Been listening to music from Lifehouse's album No Name Face. 4.5 Stars for this album. I know it has been around for quite some time so the more the reason to get it because it will be cheaper in stores (or easier for pirates to download off the net).
C. blogged on 2:01 AM
.
{Apple takes a Byte - Thursday, April 06, 2006}
It's about time. Apple just (today) revealed that their future Macs will be able to run Windows Xp. Now, you can switch between the Mac software and Windows just by rebooting. I cannot imagine how big an impact this will be in the technological sector but I guess a 8.1% growth in its share price says it all. They mean business.
I personally love the Mac but never wanted to switch over from Windows. Just like how Nokia users refuse to switch over to SonyEricsson. I mean, having to deal with a mouse with just one button to click is sad. Not to mention, games released for mac come out 1-2 years late. Well, I guess I can start looking forward to getting one now =).
C. blogged on 2:26 AM
.
{Amazing Speedo!! - Wednesday, April 05, 2006}
Been busy studying for exams. Next week, I still have a Investment Analysis exam on monday, Corporate Accounting presentation on wednesday and driving test on thursday. I impatiently await the one week break like a person at the bar, waving money, hoping for a bartender to take orders. Anyway, I stumbled on a clip which I bet my sister and watch over and over again. Hopefully she drools all over her brand new sony laptop so it spoils. *evil grin*
C. blogged on 1:44 AM
.
{Satellite Sky - Sunday, April 02, 2006}
Jo linked me an abstract from a novel by Haruki Murakami titled Sputnik Sweetheart (I'm so going to buy this book). This metaphor hits me like a meteor crashing into a innocent planet and annihilates all remaining hope. It's a disturbingly vivid description of one of my deepest fears. Heaven forbid should such a thing happen to anyone (or me) . =(
"And then it came to me then. That we were wonderfultraveling companions but in the end no more than lonely lumps of metal in their own separate orbits. From far off they looklike beautiful shooting stars, but in reality they're nothingmore than prisons, where each of us is locked up alone, goingnowhere. When the orbits of these two satellites of ourshappened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe evenopen our hearts to each other. But that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we'd be in absolutesolitude. Until we burned up and became nothing."
Pain.
C. blogged on 1:25 PM
.
{Mambo 2006_sem1 - Saturday, April 01, 2006}
Ok, no offense to SSS(Singapore Students Society) people or whatever but i think the organising commitee for this event was crap. The planning was poor and the tickets were so un-pro - they were photostated sheets of paper with a STAMP on the back. HELLO???! WHATS GOING ON?!
Anyway. We don't need them to have a good time so it's irrelavant.
It was the absolute craziest clubbing event I've ever been to, and it wouldn't have been possible without all my friends. From having to say hi to almost every other person at the bar counter, to outrageous podium dancing, to drunk people spurting nonsense, to endless flow of drinks, and heck, I even got blood on my shirt!
Sigh. Pity that all good things have to come to an end and all we can do is replay the moments in our minds when they end.
PHOTOS PHOTOS PHOTOS
There a couple of pix I could put up but they are on other people's cameras and I haven't received them yet so I decided to put the ones I have in a chronological sequence. Enjoy!
Off to paramount we go! Jun buckles up for a hellva ride.
Ally and I outside paramount. (I still sober at this stage and if my memory serves me right, she took this photo with her left hand)
Men in white! (Me, Jay, Freddy, Dallas)
Twin Brothers? (Sean and Chris)
Twin Sisters! (Jean, Freddy, Jody)
My Perth Family. Chris deserves a place in this photo but was probably lying wasted somewhere and was no where to be found. (Gary, Rina, Jay, Freddy, Me, Ally, TJ, Jun)
Checkin' out their new blue shoes!
Off to paramount we go! Jun buckles up for a hellva ride.
